Return To Innocence
by Mareike9
Summary: [Series] They grew up together as the Liberi Fatali. However, while the rest basked in glory, one strayed behind. Seifer returns to the Orphanage to seek answers to about his past while before him, his future and that of the Orphanage Gang unfurls.
1. Chapter 1

**RETURN TO INNOCENCE**  
**Author:** Yumari

**Rating:** PG-13  
**Genre:** Drama/Angst  
**Summary:** They grew up together, and the Sorceress War saw to their rise as the Fated Children. However, while the rest basked in glory, one strayed behind. Seifer returns to the Orphanage to seek answers to his questions about his past while before him, his future and that of the Orphanage Gang unfurls.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own FFVIII although I would really love to. Squaresoft does, however. I'm just borrowing. XP Please do not sue as doing so would be an utter and complete waste of your time. I am poor and I would just slap this disclaimer at you. XP Thank you very much!

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**CHAPTER 1**  
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"This is it," he whispered silently to himself. From where he stood, he could almost make out the outline of the lighthouse across the horizon and the little house that stood at its foot. There was no turning back now; in less than an hour the boat would be be making its stop at the tip of the Cetra region and he'd have to get off to face what he had gone there for.

But then, he could always talk to the captain and tell him he's changed his mind about this whole trip and he can go all the way back to Fisherman's Horizon -

He frowned upon the mere idea of backing out on this trip. If he didn't do it now, when would he? It isn't on a daily basis that he feels the courage to confront his inner demons. Besides, the boat fare didn't come cheap. If he let this opportunity pass him by, there's no telling when he'd be able to save another eight hundred Gil for when he felt the urge to go on another three-day journey.

It's been three months. He was tired of running, and he made sure he won't this time.

He just hoped he wouldn't run into any of them.

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The trip to Cetra had been long but uneventful - not that he was complaining. Like he needed another Hyne-damned affair to throw him off-course again anyway.

Throwing his knapsack over his shoulder, he trudged towards the lighthouse as the wind blew against his face. From the short distance, the place looked the same way as it had appeared in his fragmented memories: a quaint cottage by the sea, a small field of desert flowers... It had only been several months after the Sorceress War since he's had these mental snapshots on what he supposed to be his forgotten childhood but at the moment, he felt these memories come alive: children would run across the field as the smell of freshly baked bread filled the salty morning air, shortly after, a woman would come out - her long raven black hair loosely tied behind her. She'd call them back in for breakfast on a large wooden table while another adult - a man - would pour milk in their wooden mugs. He remembered sitting beside a blonde girl who always complained about him making noises while he ate. Heck, he even remembered being reprimanded for it.

He remembered a lot of things, but he couldn't remember why he had forgotten...

A few minutes more and he had set up camp by the beach that was fifteen flights of stairs down the cliff on which the old orphanage stood. He had counted the steps on his way down, and now that he thought of it, he felt himself walk on memory lane once more. He saw six children running down to set off fireworks, while one little blonde boy stayed upstairs, shouting that he would tell on them. And if he looked on closely, he could almost see Zell pointing his tiny finger at them.

"No kidding. Chicken-wuss?" he chuckled to himself as he watched the sun set in the horizon, bathing the sky in a mixture of orange and violet hues.

Taking off his boots, he stretched his weary feet, letting the sea water lap up at them as it met the beach. His eyes drifting shut, he could feel another wave of familiarity wash through him, this time as a child playing by the edge of the beach, splashing water on a little brunette and a blue-eyed blonde as they screamed for him to stop while splashing him and his partner - a redhead - back.

He could almost see the Messenger Girl and the Instructor in their places...

And there was Puberty Boy looking on in the background, his hands laced with the eldest of them all - a girl with short brown hair in a blue sundress. Wasn't her name... Ellone?

Chicken-wuss would come running, Matron just behind him as she called out for him to be careful. He remembered the boy look back at their mother and wave, then promptly trip on a rock. They would all end up laughing then, while the puny blonde would start crying as Matron gathers him up in her arms, and call all of them back in for a snack...

It had always puzzled him as to why he would see their faces in his fragmented memories; how he would recognize those children for them when the age was an obvious difference. Squall, Quistis, Zell - the names would slip from his mind even before he had the chance to grasp the thought of how it is possible for them to have a shared childhood when he couldn't even remember a single thing. It didn't make sense.

That had been his life for the past nine years from when he started attending Balamb Garden: driven by a hazy past and a dream that he found to have never strayed away from him inspite of the fact that he couldn't even place why he had such a dream to begin with. His life had been spent mostly on instinct. It was instinct why he despised Leonhart. It was instinct why he enjoyed making fun of Dincht. It was instinct why he kept putting down Trepe...

It was instinct why he went with the Sorceress back at Timber.

It had always been instinct and his 'romantic dream'.

And now, opening his eyes, the images flitted into the wind as one question slipped through his thinned, quivering lips: "Why?"

_**- Tsuzuku - **_

**Author's Note:** This is the first FFVIII fic that I ever uploaded online. ; And it's going to be a multi-part story! Ehehe... Ahem. Please R&R. I would really love to know what you think of it. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**RETURN TO INNOCENCE**  
**Author:** Yumari

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**CHAPTER 2**  
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_"Matron?"_

_Edea looked up from where she sat brushing her hair. There, by the doorway stood Seifer, his small form huddled against the doorframe. "Seifer, why are you still up?" she asked, a worried frown marring her serene features. She put down the brush on her dresser, walked towards Seifer and took his hand, leading him in and out of the darkness of the small hallway._

_Seifer walked in quietly behind her and remained standing when she sat on her bed. "Tell me what's bothering you." There was no need to ask if anything was wrong, Edea knew her little boy very well and a mere glance at his green eyes gave it all away._

_Seifer bit his lower lip, his eyes downcast as he thought of how he would construct his question. There was a few seconds of silence, then: "It - it's not the woman's fault if - if she was a sorceress, right, Matron?" Seifer exclaimed, stuttering as the words came out in a rush._

_Edea could see the sadness pooling in the green eyes that met hers when he looked up. "Oh, my dear boy!" Wrapping her arms around him, she smiled softly, a soft laugh slipping from her lips. "Is that what you're worried about?" Had it been another kid in the Orphanage, Seifer would have either stalked out of the room or punched the poor kid square in the face for laughing at him, but this was Matron. Her soft, magical-sounding laughter always soothed him. It made him feel everything's alright. And that he could always get away with anything._

_That was often the case, anyway._

_Seifer nodded silently, his eyes fixated on the newly waxed parquet of Matron and Mr. Cid's room._

_Edea hugged him tighter, planting a kiss on the top of his head. "No, dear. It's not her fault. It is Fate's will. It is no one's fault." Inwardly, she sighed. She should have known better than to tell them a story about sorceresses. But Selphie had been persistent and everyone else seemed eager to hear it. They would never quit asking her if she didn't. But now it looked like it didn't matter if she told them or not; she still wouldn't hear the end of it anyway._

_"Then why did they have to seal her?" Seifer's green eyes met her amber ones._

_"My dear Seifer," Edea started, pushing the boy back a bit so she could cup his face in her hands, "there's too much you do not understand about the world yet."_

_Seifer frowned, puffing his chest out indignantly. "C'mon Matron! I'm not stooopid like Chicken!"_

_Edea raised a perfect eyebrow at that. "Seifer, what did I tell you about calling Zell names?"_

_The blond boy pouted even more._

_Sighing, she released his face and folded her hands on her lap. Her eyes, however, didn't stray from his. "Seifer, the girl was given powers that was too great for her. She could not control it. It's just like when you grab a fistful of sand, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it, the grains just keep slipping from your little fingers."_

_"But why didn't anyone help her?"_

_"They..." A sad smile made its way to the woman's face. "They were afraid of her."_

_"But Matron!" Seifer exclaimed, his voice incredulous. "She's just a girl, isn't she? Why would they be scared of her?"_

_And here, Edea thought Quistis was the inquisitive one._

_"Seifer, I think this is enough story-telling for tonight."_

_"But Matron!"_

_"Seifer." Softly-spoken, yet by all means commanding. No one ever dared to contest with Matron when her voice wore that tone. Not even Cid. _

_Seifer's shoulders visibly sunk. Mumbling his "goodnight", he trudged out of the room with the "why?" still swimming in his head. _

Why did he care so much, anyway?

When Seifer awoke, stars had already littered the sky. Cursing, he propped himself up on the sand, dusted his sleeves and picked up his pack. No wonder he was starving; night had already fallen on Cetra and not even a single cracker touched his lips ever since he arrived. And that was how many hours ago? Six? "Great, just great," he muttered as he got to his knees and pushed himself up, the pack slung over his right shoulder. While the starlit sky was quite a sight to behold, the air had gotten really cold and he had no intention to catch any sort of cold, especially not when the old orphanage was just a few flight of stairs away. If he has somewhere to go for shelter, then why should he expose himself to the wild?

There goes that Hyne-damned question again…

_Why?_

_**- Tsuzuku - **_

**Author's Note:** Ah, yes! I finally got to update this thing! XD To everyone who reviewed the last chapter and are waiting for my next update, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm so sorry I made you wait so long! Actually, this chapter's been sitting around my comp for several, uh, months already, and was just waiting to be uploaded. Thing is, I couldn't decide whether I should post it already even if it's _that _short or wait a while to see if there's anything else I could add to it. Turns out that I won't be adding anything after all. Ugh. Anyway, like I said, it's really quite short. And there wasn't much going on except for that dream but believe me, it's an essential part of the story. Or at least I think so for the time being. XD But 'nuff of that… What do you think of it?

**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy VIII and all characters and names/places/terms associated with it are rightful properties of Square Enix. However, Return to Innocence - the story and everything else, unless specified, are mine. I do not gain anything from this except personal happiness, thank you very much.


	3. INSERT: Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

Aiyaaaa! It's been so long since my last update, and I apologize to those who've been waiting for the next chapter. T.T

There are a lot of things happening in my life lately, and there were just things I had to take care of first. And then there's also the fact that I kept rewriting and rewriting what should be Chapter 3. T.T Don't worry, though, I think I've got a hold of it now. XD Also, I've taken the liberty of revising (again?!) 1 and 2. No big changes, really. Just thought I'd throw a few things here and there, and in my opinion, those two chapters look better now.

I'll just upload them when I finish fixing their formats.

As for Chapter 3, I can't really say when I'd be able to put it up, but you can rest assured that it will come out within this year. I know that sounds sucky, but that's the best I can do. --;; Sorry.

So, there. To those who placed this story on their alert and favorites, and to those who've read this and are waiting for the next updates, thank you so much for your patience. I'm really trying to finish 3 as soon as I can. I just hope that when it's finally up, it won't disappoint.

That's all.

Until the next update!

Love,

_Yumari_


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